Well, it was my turn to write the blog post for my company.
It always stresses me out, because it's hard to pull out just one topic from
the scary tangled mess that is my brain. I got lucky this time, because I
wrote some stuff in an email group I'm in (which happens to include the company
CEO... who was my friend long before she was a CEO), and after she read it, she
said, "Looks like a blog post to me!" And now it is.
Phew. Easy-peasy. So, here's the post:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Offline Advice: Tips for Sports Parents
Yes, we’re all
techno-geeks. We can’t get enough of our electronic gadgets. But
eventually, we all have to pull away from our computers long enough to do
something else. Well, most of us do. Okay, some of us. If
you’re a parent, it’s likely that you get pulled away fairly often. Kids
have a funny way of expecting to eat a few times a day. And if you’re a parent
whose children are involved in sports, there’s even a regular schedule you’re
supposed to follow.
As a sports mom,
I’ve got some street cred. Four athletic kids (one’s an All-American!), plus a
coach for a husband – that all counts. And while volleyball is my family’s
“thing,” we sure aren’t a one-sport bunch. Oh no. Football, basketball,
track, cross country, wrestling, soccer, bowling (yep, that’s a “sport”),
baseball, softball… and that doesn’t even include their “fine arts”
endeavors. Oh yes, I’ve put in my time in the bleachers.
So, here is some
offline advice for sports parents. You’re welcome.
First tip:
Go. Your kid wants you there, even if he feigns disinterest in your presence,
or acts like you are an embarrassment. (Bonus tip: If you’re sporting a jersey
with his picture on it or waving a big foam finger – any finger — you ARE an
embarrassment.) Learn the appropriate things to call out. If you don’t know the
rules and intricacies of the game, keep your mouth shut until you do, except to
be encouraging. Take your cues from the more seasoned parents, but remember…
Second tip:
Most parents are idiots when their kids are playing sports. Don’t let
them drag you into their lunacy. If it’s more fun to sit somewhere else,
then sit somewhere else. But don’t sit with the other team’s parents,
because they’re even bigger idiots.
Third tip: Be
kind to the refs. They really don’t hate your kids. They’re
probably calling the game the way they actually see it. Sometimes they
get it wrong, but games are almost never lost because of bad calls, even if it
seems that way. Even if a “bad call” happens at the end of the game,
there were still plenty of missed opportunities, turnovers, or incidents of
poor execution that might have changed the outcome.
Here’s a bonus tip
about basketball, when your team is playing: If your team is on defense,
and one kid bumps another, you’ll see it as an offensive foul. If your
team is on offense, you’ll see it as a defensive foul. You just can’t
help it… you see it as the other team’s fault. Keep that in mind before
you stand up and scream about the inequity of it all. And remember: It’s a lot
more fun to quietly mock the parents from the other team who are standing and
screaming about the inequity of it all if you haven’t already engaged in that
behavior.
Tips for
immediately after the game: Ask your child what she felt she did well,
and what she thinks she can improve on. Find a skills-related thing to
compliment your kid about, and a character-related thing to compliment her
about. Save your skills critique for later, and save your character
critique for later. BUT! Be sure to see my next two paragraphs regarding
the critiques.
About the skills
critique: Think it over before you choose to discuss skills and
technique. Talk to the coach if you’re not sure about something — they
might be teaching a method that you don’t know. It is okay to show your child
another way, but do your best to not undermine the coaches, or sabotage their
system.
And about saving
the character critique for later: Get to it, but not immediately after the
game, when emotions may be running high. But don’t make the mistake of never
addressing issues you see in their character. If you’re lucky, the coach
might help in that area, but ultimately, it’s your problem. If you
disagree with the coach, talk to him — don’t tell your kid to do something
different than the coach tells him to do. (Example: we taught our kids to
put out a hand and help up an opposing player if someone got knocked down — one
coach didn’t allow that, because he thought it could start a fight, or put the
kids in danger of being punched.) Whatever you’re noticing — back-talking the
coach, rolling eyes at the ref, laughing at the other team, not being
encouraging to teammates – address it with your child, and work with them to
overcome these things.
And my top tip:
Remember why you’re doing this. It’s not about building an athlete; it’s about
building your child’s character. Except for a few very rare exceptions, our
kids are never going to “go pro.” But they are going to have to function in the
real world, where there are wins and losses, fairness and inequity, good skills
and poor skills. What they learn about managing those things will be far more
important than anything they can learn about a sport.
– Susie South |
Chief Moderator | Metaverse Mod Squad, Inc.
[Originally posted here.]
